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The RULES.
The Female ALWAYS knows the RULES.
The RULES are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No male can possibly know all of The RULES.
If a Female suspects a Male know all The RULES, she must immediately change someor all of The RULES.
The Female is never Wrong.
If the Female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of Something the male did or said wrong.
The male must apologise immediately for the said misunderstanding.
The Female may change her mind at ay time.
The male must never change his mind without te written consent of the Female.
The Female has every right to be angry or upset a anytime.
The male must remain calm at all times unless the Female wants him to be angry and/ or upset.
The Female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants the male to be angry and/ or upset.
The Fmale is ready when she is ready.
The male must be ready at all times.
15 Mistakes women make when having sex
1. BEING PASSIVE - Don't let him undress you and himself. Just help him a little bit: like making the first step. Just because we are men it doesn't mean that we must do all the job.
2. WEARING JEANS OR TIGHT PANTS - It takes time to
take off these kind of clothes. Every second counts.
Remember one thing:the more time you got, the more
rounds you got, and the more rounds you got the more satisfied you get.
3. GOING DOWN HALFWAY - Once you start going down,
don't stop at the belly button, keep going or just don't go past the neck at all.
4. CHOCKING HIS CHICKEN - Men feel pain, we are not as
tough as you think. No man has a leather dick. You got to be smooth with the dick. Pulling it to hard doesn't make us feel horny, it hurts even though we don't tell you.
5. LICKING HIS EAR TOO MUCH - It's just the same as a
dog licking a bitches ass.
6. MOANING LIKE A RUNNER THAT NEEDS AIR - Better moan
with style girls cause men love to make fun of girls
who can't moan like movie stars. Try not make to much
noise when you exhale.
7. SCRATCHING HIS BACK - We don't need no autographs,
girls. It does not feel good at all. Depend on the
length of nail and how deep you dig them in our backs
so keep your nails in you pockets please. If you feel
the need to scratch a boys back, either grip the hell
out of the sheets or the headboard.
8. LETTING YOUR HAIR FALL IN HIS FACE - Men need air,
they breathe.
9. JUMPING ON HIPS TO HARD - A man is not a horse so
please take it easy unless you got a big booty to take
care of the landing.
10. SCREAMING TO LOUD WHEN YOU CUM - Are you crazy? Do
you want us to get caught by your parents? Or do you
just love seeing me jump through the window butt
naked...
11. KEEP YORSELF CLEAN! - Everyone knows that fish is
the smell. But we don't have to be smelling it when
you take your panties off. Please warn us if you
haven,t freshened up. And nobody wants to suck on
salty dirty titties. Men aren't the only ones who sweat.
And we sure don't want you smellin like you work at a
fish market either. Make sure your ass is clean!!! No
man wants to eat off a dirty plate.
12. MAKE SURE YOUR FEET ARE IN CHECK - Every man has a
certain turn on, everything on a woman must be
perfect, thats how we like it. Do not, I repeat do not get in bed with us with your feet looking like you were
walking bare foot on toxic waste. You know what i am
talkin about, nail polish coming off halfway, smelly
as hell, uneven toenails, soles feeling like
sandpaper. Its hard to perform good foreplay with
that. And don't even think about asking us to suck
your toes when they look like they have been beaten
with a sledge hammer(ugly)and we are not to fond of
unpolished toeseither. We like them soft, pretty, and tasty looking.
13. GIVING HEAD - Don't use your teeth!
14. AFTER SEX BROADCASTING - Don't go bragging to your
friends saying that you have us so called "whipped"
its not cool at all, especially when his friends are
around. If a man is "whipped" he won't admit it
15. KEEP IT REAL - When you're at the point of breakin
up, don't wait until then to tell us we didn't knock
it right. You know damn well we had you climbing the
walls and walking on air.
30 HARSH THINGS A WOMAN CAN SAY TO A NAKED MAN"
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It's OK, we'll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no... a flash headache.
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won't take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the 'early bird
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