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SUBJECT: Performance Appraisal
I the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
a) I do physical labour
b) I work at great depths
c) I plunge head first into everything I do
d) I do not get weekends off or public holidays
e) I work in a damp enviroment
f) I don't get paid overtime
g) I work in a damp work place that has poor
ventilation
h) I work in high temperatures
i) My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear Penis
After assesing your request and considering the
arguments that you have raised the administration
rejects your request for the following reasons:
a) You do not work eight hours straight
b) You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
c) You do not always follow thw orders of the
management team
d) You do not stay in your allocated position, and
often visit other areas
e) You do not take initiative - you need to be
pressured and stimulated in order to start working
f) You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of
your shift
g) You don't always observe safety regulations such as
wearing protective clothing
h) You'll retire well before reaching 65
i) You're unable to work double shifts
j) You sometimes leave your allocated position before
you have completed the day's work
k) And if that were not all, you have been seen
constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying
two suspicious looking bags
Sincerely
The Management
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